The Little Elephant That Could

An Invitation to the Journey from Pain to Purpose

Dear Reader,

I’m glad you are here. And I want to acknowledge that you may not feel so glad to be here, because this may be a painful season for you.

If you are like many of my clients (and like me), you’re someone who usually has the answer to everything that life throws your way. You may not have thought much about your pain, stress, fear, sadness, grief or loss. Because you never had to. Working hard to push through these experiences was a very effective strategy for maintaining a successful life.

Until now.

It seems that your strengths are not able to meet your current challenge. You know because something is ending (or has already ended). Your job, your health, a relationship. And perhaps your identity along with it.

In this bewildering moment, my clients tend to ask:

Can I get through this?

My response is: Yes…and…maybe not in the same way you’ve made it through other challenges.

So how will I get through this?

We can start by embracing your not knowing—which might make space for something new to emerge. And…maybe…we can gently move towards the pain you’ve been avoiding.

Why would I ever move towards my pain!?

I know it may sound strange. But let me answer with the first three minutes of this video.

It follows Moyo, a young elephant who nearly drowned when he was only a few days old. In the video, Moyo is working with his caretaker, Roxy, to face his fear of water. The moment at 0:35 – 0:45 bursts my heart every time (watch!).

Moyo is trotting along with Roxy and her dog. They reach the water. They begin to wade in – and Moyo freezes. Then he turns around, seemingly unable to even look at the water.

If we pause at this moment in time, the high-achiever in us tends to believe that Moyo is failing. He’s avoiding the problem. He should just push through and succeed, or run off to some far away plain with no water and thrive there.

But we have to remember that Moyo is mid-story.

He’s been doing months of work with Roxy. And if we wait just a moment, a thirsty Moyo is going to turn around, wade in up to his ankles, and grab a drink. He’ll then go up to his chest. And soon he’ll be splashing around, dunking his head, and spraying himself with water.

This moment shows us something more than just any young elephant playing in the water. Because this is Moyo — the one who nearly drowned, and who froze near the water — who is now splashing about. So we get to feel the incredible joy that happens when the source of Moyo’s pain becomes a place where he grows and flourishes.

High-achievers often miss out on this growth because of our strong will and resilience. We tend to bounce back to the plains where we are “succeeding,” rather than staying near the waters that might change us. 

Maybe you can resonate. And, maybe you sense an invitation to enter the waters of your own journey. 

If that’s where you are, I hope you will remember two things. 

Moyo reminds us that it’s okay to be scared. His courage moves us precisely because he was scared.

Roxy reminds us that we don’t have to do it alone. So if these words are speaking to you, know that I’d be honored to walk with you toward your waters.

Oh, and one last thing. I’ve read that the name “Moyo” means "heart." Thank you, Moyo, the little elephant that could. You embody the courageous heart that chooses the journey from pain to purpose.

Warmly,

Paul

Om Mani Padme Hum, Moyo