When Psychedelics are Calling: What if This Changes Everything?

Dear Reader,

Welcome to this meaningful moment — and this scary moment. You’re beginning to explore whether psychedelics could support your healing, growth, and a deeper connection with yourself.

If you’re like many of my clients, you have already read Michael Pollan’s book. Listened to podcasts. Asked both AI and Dr. Google everything you could ever want to “know” about psychedelics. Maybe even dabbled recreationally. So what you’ve really come to ask is:

How do I know if psychedelics will help me right now?

and

How do I know if I’m ready to do this?

The answers to those questions are mostly not “out there.” They’re in you. So they benefit from slowing down and listening carefully. 

I’m a coach who helps people explore these questions — and I’m also a human being who has asked them of myself.

I decided to explore psychedelics in a season when I felt I had nothing to lose. I had moved through a period of grief and loss, but I still couldn’t find my way into what was next. I felt stuck. And, though I said “nothing to lose”, there were still three huge fears I took into my first psychedelic journey:

1) What if this journey makes me lose my mind?

2) What if it “tells me” I’m supposed to leave my wife?

3) What if it tells me I’m supposed to leave my job?

As I wrestled with these fears, I was lucky to find a wise guide who did not promise me certainty. Instead, she helped me understand the choice I had. What I heard from her was:

“On some level, we never know what will happen to us in life. Choosing journey work is choosing to step courageously into the unknown…Careful screening, preparation, and support can reduce the risks, but they cannot remove uncertainty entirely. Whatever you experience, the changes in your life will ultimately happen through the choices you make afterward. That is the work of integration.”

Her guidance honored my fear and helped me to loosen my grip. I went on the journey. And what emerged were middle-way “answers.”

What if this journey makes me lose my mind?

Here’s what I felt: Your mind is still here. And, you are invited to loosen its grip – so that you can feel your heart. The person you’ve been may look at your future self and call him crazy. Like when he allows himself to feel his emotions, and when he embraces conflict instead of disappearing. If you want this life, one that feels more alive and open to change, you may have to release a little bit of the control you have tried to exert over everything. You can start by taking a deep breath, right here, right now.

What if this journey tells me I’m supposed to leave my wife?

I was able to see that the galaxy of amorphous fear here wasn’t really about my wife and whether I would need to leave her. It was worrying about the possibility that something I loved and had built my life around would not be the same on the other side. What emerged in the journey was this: I knew I wanted to stay with her; and I knew I wanted to leave behind the relationship as it was. Because what I most wanted was to move toward the more alive and loving relationship that I sensed we could have if we put in the work.

What if this journey tells me I’m supposed to leave my job?

I heard: probably, but not today. You have been afraid to live into this question because you do not yet know what you are moving towards. So let me remind you of your gifts that can help you find your way. Your intelligence, yes. But also your curiosity. Your kindness. Your compassion. Your courage. Remember your big green heart (literally, in the journey, a vibrant green space). You’re already finding your way to cultivate that and share it with the world. Trust, surrender, and keep going.

I didn’t wake up the next day and quit my job (in fact, the soundest of guidance around psychedelic integration advises that you wait at least three weeks after a journey before making any significant life decisions). But I did start moving in the direction of bringing more to my career. Not just my intellect and drive, but the heart, courage, and compassion that I had been reconnected with in my journey. 

It’s this combination that set me on the path to do this work, today. To become the coach for people like my former self, who deeply needed psychedelics and wanted to engage with them in intentional and safe ways. 

So if your intuition is calling you to journey work, I hope you’ll listen carefully. An important part of yourself is asking to be heard. 

And know this, too: Every journey is different, and psychedelics are not for everyone.

Curiosity and courage are important. So is careful screening, thoughtful preparation, appropriate support, and permission to decide that now is not the right time. We can listen deeply to ourselves without psychedelics.

If you’re looking for support as you explore your questions, I’d love to help.

Warmly,
Paul

P.S. My work through Middle Way with Paul is preparation and integration coaching support. I don’t provide access to psychedelics. And my coaching practice is not therapy for a clinical mental health condition.

If you’re looking for psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy for a mental health condition in New Jersey, you can come visit me over at Elevated Wellness, LLC.